I should imagine so, seeing as I have a uniform, type 2 phaser and a communicator...

Guess who has to buy an official version of Adobe Photoshop 7!!


Damn it...

I don't really want to do this but it seems more or less that I'm forced to. Please, all those affected, don't lose sleep over this but I am forced to edit my friends list and from now on all of my journals will be friends only viewable. All those who didn't make the cut, oh well, it's better this way. I shouldn't even have to do this, my life sucks, it's not like too many people want to read about it.
Oh and, just a last word for all those who get to miss out on my epic chronicles, this is basically it, so enjoy:

My life sucks, Fuck the world.

That's all you really need to know about me. Well, I was never before in the habit of burning my bridges while I was still standing on them, my feet feel a little warm...

Peace.

It's a little late, but I can't sleep. I skipped my classes today, took a mental health day, missed a test and a paper was due. Fuck it all. I have one class tomorrow, fuckin' art. Things are very tight and I just feel so stressed out. I am exhausted. And I am sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself. I'm afraid of what's coming, I just feel something ominous hanging over everything I do. Fucking money. I don't need much, but god, I don't have any. I guess I'll just deal with feeling like a prostitute and beg my dad for some cash. I haven't heard from my mom since she came down here the other day without warning and Bryn and I sought sanctuary at Taco Bell. She plays dirtier everyday. Why the fuck does she want to fight so much!

Everyone hates me, I hate humanity, so at least it's mutual.

Death and sadness, now excuse me while I go cut myself as assurance of my existence.

God I feel so emo...

P.S. don't comment unless you have something useful to say.

This rant was supposed to go on last night but I was too worked up and then too tired to write bitch about it. It started when I sent off a very reasonable response to my mother, she wanted to know when I got done with classes on Friday so she could come get me and set up things to go to UW Manitowoc next year. This is my email, verbatim:

I want you to consider this, this is what I want to do and it is not unreasonable. I do not want to attend UW Manitowoc next year. If at all possible I would like to go to Milwaukee and I have already been discussing with Bryn to live with her, not at her house mind you, we have discovered some complications with that. But what is possible is for us to get a cheap apartment, take a year off from schooling and save money. This will make it possible for me to at least begin schooling at UWM myself, without relying on your money, I don't want to do that anymore, and I will also be able to pay you back myself because Victor is failing his duties. Just please consider, and don't tell me it is impossible.
I will email later,
Charlie


Yesterday after my two short morning classes, Bryn and I went to her house to get her hair cut and dyed, which did turn out to be a waste of time for both of us, I stole her internet cable there and checked my email. I got a response from my mother saying:

Hi, I will be there tonight about 4:30 to talk to you.Mom

No kidding you, that's all she wrote, literally. Well, I wasn't planning on being in the dorms all day, and it's her fault for 1. taking away the cell so she could call and make sure I would there and 2. just assume I would not be out and doing something because I would check my email all day! Stupid bitch! So, needless to say, I was not there when she came down. She left some some note at the desk saying she would be down next Friday to take me back to Manitowoc. I retaliated:

Mother,
Do not waste gas coming down here. Apparently you don't get it, you do not have to come meet me and talk about this. I am trying to make this clear; I will not be living in Manitowoc next year, I will not be attend UW Manitowoc next year, I will be living with Bryn in an apartment, working and saving for college. I am a grown woman and I do not have to ask your permission to become independent. Do not get me wrong, I appreciate all the things you've done for me but I need to live on my own. You will be paid back for the charge of the trip, probably by me, and I will remove my belongings when we have a place. I will buy the car off of you if you still wish for that arrangement, otherwise I will get one elsewhere.
If you have anything to say to this, email back, don't drive down and expect me be on campus.
Emily

She will be getting that email on monday...

Yeah! My room is clean! I know that doesn't sound like a big deal to most but... it was looking pretty awful for the longest time. it was literally to the point where even I couldn't walk in it anymore. now i will be able to find shit, and all my books and things for classes and I'm super happy because i found my dvd that i thought were lost for ever, a couple of Marx Brothers films and two invader zim discs! and some choice music cds! the must have fallen off of my desk and were hiding in the small space between the desk and the wall. good day! cleaning pays off.

You are Sarah, the boy crazy girl with the butch

dry walling job. When people meet you they

think you rock (especially now that you are

no longer a goth poser).
Hobbies: Orlando Bloom, Jhonny Depp, soup, Death

and Sadness.
Oh yeah, and also: Death and Sadness, Death, Death

and Sadness...


A.S.S.B.A.R.: Adam, Sarah, Squeedge, Aids, Bryn, or Ryan. Which one of us are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Everybody is so fucking depressed around here! My days drone on and I feel like I'm not doing all that I could with my free time. Always hard to utilize that time with no money. But seriously, I should be looking forward to hearing from Victor everyday, I love that he calls daily, but I don't know what to say. He's so depressed, all I can say is that I love him, right now I'm listening to Stairway to Heaven, just to reflect about things. I don't know how I could have "put him on the back burner" while he's away, I talk to him everyday. I just don't want him to give up on what he's doing, and I don't want him to give up on me.

I want to be back to the first semester again, I miss the beautiful simplicity of new beginnings. This is getting all too stale and old. I feel saturated with the sense of failure and defeat all around me. I'm working on a major overhaul cleaning of my room, if only to have that little success lift the dark cloud for a little bit. I just need some comforting words from someone, I need something to go right this week.

Which won't happen unless I do some homework.

Yeah I made a new icon! I know, it breaks the pattern. But I like how it turned out and cleaned up. I basically cleaned up the edges, cropped it nicely and gave it a defining border. Still I like it. And yes, I'm probably partial to it because its a steve-buscemi-crotch-shot.

...

I'm working off of four hours of sleep, I'm surprised that I'm not ridiculously tired right now.

yay! i'm free again!

thats right, i'm back and bryn's got a lot of tarantino for us to watch. maybe today will be a good day. even though my mother only gave me 50 dollars to live off of.

better than nothing i guess.

yay, techno.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

those bastards! they will pay for sentencing me to the fucking 5th level of hell!!!
bastards!!

Yellows are motivated by fun. They are inviting and

embrace life as a party which they're

hosting. They love playful interaction and

can be extremely sociable and persuasive.

They seek instant gratification. YELLOWS need

to be adored and praised. While YELLOWS are

carefree, they are quite sensitive and highly

alert to others motives to control them.

YELLOWS carry within themselves the gift of a

good heart.

YELLOWS need to look good socially, and friendships

command a high priority in their lives.

YELLOWS are happy, highly verbal, easily

bored, and crave adventure. They can never

sit still for long. They choose friends who,

like themselves, refuse to allow lifes boring

details stifle their curiosity. They embrace

each day in the present tense. YELLOWS are

charismatic, spontaneous, positive, and can

be irresponsible, obnoxious, and forgetful.

When you deal with a YELLOW praise and adore

them, take a positive, upbeat approach, and

promote creative and fun activities for and

with them.


What Color Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

so my alarm didnt go off today, and i'm missing my first class...fuck.
i really hate this semester, the only class i can stand is costume construction, which is a fancy way of saying basic sewing for the stage. i mean, on tuesdays and thurdays i have a remedial art class for fuck-ups and retards, and i have an english class i took in high school-the same teacher too! and david oswald is just a moody bitch! i hate this school. i'm kinda relieved i can't afford it.

Yay! New icon!

I'm just pumpin' these bitches out!

I guess Mr. Brown is next...

I'm a fucking Millionaire!!

that's right bitches, i won the game of life with one million six hundred thousands and some. doesn't that excite you.

if you're still confused, we played games at mike demmings last night, it was like tournament/family game night with all of us. chess, dominoes and board games. ...and bryn and i were dressed as mr. blonde and mr. pink. or was it mr. brown? haha. we watched Reservoir Dogs and felt so compelled to emulate them for the bonfire at demmings. it was much fun. we got a good fire going and almost set the entire backyard on fire when demming took off the cap of the non-dairy creamer and did some pyrotechnics!

bryn and i were just too cool for everyone else, spitting out obscure quotes and dancing around with knives. cool pictures to come with airsoft guns.

oh and i made a new icon yesterday, and i'm planning on doing one today. maybe two if all goes well. i just want to finish the set!

dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

how many dicks is that?

a lot.

I made a new icon and I'm very proud of it, for the first time its not something i slapped together in photoshop in less than a minute! Its so hott! oh, steve buscemi!!!!! so anyway, please feel free to tell me how superior i am at creating beautiful artwork.

Bryn brought Lauri over, (and yay! i spelled her name right, all by myself!!) and we watched hott movies! triplets and i saw corpse bride! and i just found out that johnny depp's character, his name was...Victor. i know, iknow, *rolls eyes* well, if that wasnt enough, and bryn and lauri can confirm this, i almost died, i was squealing so much when Victor asks the corpse he just married for her name. what was it of course? EMILY! so now, i have decided i must own this movie. its also riddled to death with bad puns! (which right there was a pun itself, haha)

so yeah, i'm going to bed now.

yay!! I changed it.

i am so sappy.

don't make fun of me!

feeling a little nostalgic today, i'm sitting in my room watching Reservoir Dogs. just two classes tomorrow, i don't really want to go, i'm just waiting for the weekend. i don't even know why, i guess just to sleep.

i need to change my layout.

i realy have nothing much to say.

SSDD

is life for living or is it too short to waste. everyday i wonder if i'll find the right formula. i just want to skip ahead a couple years and find out where i should be. i don't know. sometimes i wonder if confidence that things will turn in favor is enough. i'll find my way.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.


...and stairway plays again in my head.

sometimes it makes me wonder. i really need some sleep.

yes, again, same shit different day. Victor's post worried me, I don't know if its me he's talking about, but who else... i'm just assuming. i hope i get a call tomorrow. I'm just sure that everything will be alright. i hope...

becki got hypnotized today, she pinned me to my chair and slapped me for laughing, and took my hat and sunglasses away. it was fun to see the guy take them all out of hypnosis and see her take of my sunglasses and stare at them in confusion. ;p

i still have some homework but, i just don't care. i need some sleep though.

kirk out.